Venture into the (Un)known

Set your gaze on the next hold. Inhale. Push forward, up, reaching… every muscle fighting for the same thing, together. Grab on with one finger, then two. Don’t let go.

My life is a synergistic mingling of everything that I do, think, and feel. The whole is bigger and stronger than the sum of each individual part. Running makes me better at yoga, which builds a foundation of strength, balance, and flexibility for climbing, which all keep me sane.

Inhale. Reach with all of your might and focus as if the very act of willing yourself forward will push you to the next hold. Exhale. Don’t let go of how it feels to fight to be there, to be there, to move on.

I’m a better scientist because of all of the time I spend not thinking about science. Yoga has taught me a new way to muscle through confusion and complexity in the articles I read and the ecological paradigms in the middle of which I find myself. Wiggle around, find your limits, and then stare at them. “Sit with the tension”, as we’re told in Yin yoga. In refusing to leave, feel your boundaries inching farther away from you. Go through that structural equation model again, a third time, a twenty-fourth time, and you’ll know when you’re there. Sink into the understanding of it all. Love the poses and exercises that challenge you most.

Inhale. Think of each muscle and ability that you’ll need in the coming explosion. Picture yourself erupting from a reserve of energy that you aren’t quite sure you even have. Imagine what feels like to be there. Exhale. Get there.

I find mental and emotional balance through a raw reliance on my muscles, the physical nature of my body’s mechanics, and the way my mind interacts with it all. When I sweat, I release anxiety, anger, desperation, frustration, deep-seated sadness, lack of confidence, fear, happiness, excitement, and an indistinguishable conglomeration of all of the above. Long runs burn through everything inconsequential and leave me with the issues at the heart of my most disturbing feelings. Grunting with exertion as the pads of my fingers shake and tremble in the ascent of a route illuminates the crux of life’s most pressing issues. With the spotlight on that problem, there’s nothing left to do but go for it. Dyno. The worst that can happen is a nasty fall, but you were down there once too. It wasn’t so bad. You lifted yourself out.

Inhale. Look down. Follow the rope’s path leading down below to the one holding you up. Smile at her. With that smile, say thank you, I love you, I’m going to make you proud,  I’m not yet done with this one. Find courage there. Exhale. Look up.

At the very core of who I am, my passions make me a better person. Running, climbing, learning, falling, and yoga expand the physical realm of possibilities for my body while allowing me to top-out and take in a holistic view of what I’ve accomplished. They allow me to love deeper and with more vulnerability, to dream bigger and with intent and strategy, to support those most important to me with my love, to match each of their successes by taking in the slack and offering them heightened support as they clamber ever upwards towards the people we will become.

The journey is the adventure. We’ve been here before, just in a different context. Breath like you did to get through the tension in the past. Throw your weight into the muscles you know will support you. Have confidence in the abilities that you’ve spent endless moments refining. Leap because staying stationary has begun to feel uncomfortable and wrong. Leap because movement in any direction feels better.

Leap because living, pushing, tugging, lifting, grasping, gasping, breathing through it all is the most honest definition of what it means to be alive.